Si Tenggang’s Homecoming

Smalam, paper aku baru start. Orang lain dah abih exam, aku baru start. Cam best gak pengalaman ni. Sekurang-kurangnya aku ada pengalaman unik camni yang bleh dijadikan kenangan.

Pastu abih exam, mak aku call (stelah aku miscall telefon umah menandakan suruh call aku). Mak aku rasa yang 3 jam exam tu, agak lama. Agaknya lama la gak. Tapi kalo dah diberi soalan math, 3 jam belum tentu cukup. Dah le soalan banyak bukan main (MSG389 - Pengiraan Kejuruteraan II) sampai aku rasa yang soalan ni sebenarnya menguji sapa yang cepat dapat jawab berbanding kemahiran yang kitorang (bebudak Math) ada.

Abih exam, malam tu gi lepak2 ngan Shila (Mass Com, Debat) dan Nurul (BATI). Sembang-sembang kat Padang Kawat. Aku siap berbaring beberapa saat, melihat awan gemawan di angkasa. Entah ler, aku ni memang suka tengok ke langit. Tengok bulan, bintang. Tapi smalam xde bintang la.

Smalam gak, aku terasa yang sometimes, menulis blog ni cam lawak pun ada. Sebab pembaca2 blog aku kengkadang slalu quote balik apa yang aku tulis dalam blog. Smalam aku dapat mesej dari Siti Jubaidah (x-SMKM, kawan sekampung). Dia tanya satu soklan lebih kurang camni la - ‘aku dengar ada orang minat kat hang waktu kat skolah dulu. Apsal hang x minat dia. Bgtau la. Hang kan OPEN’

Aku tergelak pon ada  sebab dia state yang aku ‘open’. Ha ha. Aku berusaha sedaya boleh la untuk bagitau. Aku fikir-fikir jugak apa jawapannya. Last-last aku bagi jawapan yang berunsur pelarian la jugak (Sori ek Siti kalo baca ni) - aku cakap (sms sebenarnya) - ‘Aku ni memilih skit’.

Lepas tu aku tido awal. Kul 2 pagi dah la tapi awal la dari biasanya. Biasanya kul 3 - 4 pagi. Pagi tadi, roommate aku balik dari bilik kawan dia (dia tido bilik kawan), kejut aku Subuh. Balik dari toilet mak aku call. ‘Bangun dah’, aku jawab. ‘Eh, kenapa bangun awal pulak ari ni?’ Thee. aku gelak jer. Takde jawapan.

Kalo aku buat reaksi yang lain skit, mesti orang notice. Satu contoh yg mak aku la. Minggu minggu minggu lepas, aku gi Solat Jumaat awal skit. Mahadi (kawan sekampung, USM, Fizik) tegur, ‘I couldn’t believe you’re already here!’. Ciss.

Aku cakap kat Abang Tra (Debat), nanti kalo nak cari bini, kena cari yang minat tengok wayang gak la. Senang nak ajak. Tapi, kena make sure dia suka genre teen-flicks, action, dan bukannya horror. Ish, aku x suka tengok horror. Dulu waktu gi amik visa untuk gi Jepun, aku stop sat tengok citer antu Thailand - Rathree apebenda tah. Tengok ngan Nawal (Aman Damai), Kak Soraya (International Office) ngan husband dia. Skali antu keluar, aku menjerit bukan sebab takut sangat pun, tapi sebab Nawal yang kat sebelah aku tetiba tarik baju aku. Ish… seram (bukan merujuk kepada filem).

Abih dah citer aku malam ni. Rajin gak korang membaca apa yang aku dok merapu skit sebanyak nih. See ya next time…

Dah lama x review filem. Smalam aku gi Gurney ngan Abang Tra. Tgk She’s The Man. Aku nak tgk citer ni sbb

1st - teen flicks - totally my style

2nd - Amanda Bynes act in this movie. Ciss, ramai je yg x baper kenal dia ni. Amanda Bynes berlakon dalam sitcom ‘What I Like About You’ yang skang disiarkan di NTV7

Konsep citer ni best. Memang la teen flicks - so predictable ending. But full of laughter. Citer fasal sorang budak pompuan, Viola (Amanda Bynes) yang menyamar jadi adik lelaki dia untuk join soccer team skolah tu bagi menumpaskan soccer team skolah dia sebab x-boyfriend dia ada dalam skolah dia dan girl team that cut out from the list.

Citer ni jugak fasal cinta bersegi-segi. Viola minat kat Duke (roommate dia), yang minat kat Olivia (lab partner dia), yang minat kat Viola sebab ingat Viola ni lelaki yang sensitif dan memahami wanita, ahaks.

So, ada banyak la benda lawak yang Olivia ni buat sebab dia still pompuan. Antara part yang paling meninggalkan kesan ialah waktu dia main bola sepak. Tapi, rasa cam x best lak nak describe kat sini. Korang tengok je la nanti.

Bagi aku, lawak2 yang ada dalam ni fresh dan unique. Banyak citer lelaki menyamar pompuan. Tapi x byk citer pompuan menyamar lelaki (P/S: Lelaki menyerupai pompuan dan sebaliknya adalah salah di sisi agama)

Aku mengkategorikan filem ni sebagai filem yang berkesan. Popular girl,jocks,nerd and Amanda Bynes - what more is better than that??? (If you could give answer, then you’re totally a freak-who-doesn’t-like-teen-flicks!)

Well, I just read from the internet saying that Amazing Race Asia had already started their finalist audition session last Sunday, which means that Nawal and I didn’t made it. So, partly a little bit dissapointed but the fact that over 1000 applicants sent their 3 minutes video, surely means that a lot of better persons are there to be selected.

But then to think back, I take it as something fine, as it’s not the only time I lose for something. So, that’s fine.

In one point, people think how some other people are very lucky to have these and those. Me, myself thinking the same, feeling jealous for one person to get something that I couldn’t get it. But then I realise that we’re all gifted in our own way. The different is maybe how one person show his or her problems to the public.

My father said yesterday (as I’m now having a holiday at home, so lot of story bout my family..), ‘a poor guy always enjoy his meal’. He then told me about his early life with my mom where he had a lot of siblings (still having it) and the food is just not much to be thrown away (because cannot finish, what a waste). So everyone seems to grab as much as they could fastly and they enjoy their meal very much. That’s it, nowaday it seems that there’s a lot of foods, but we’re figuring out what to eat and we don’t really enjoy eating that much, my father added some more.

I guess being in bad position simply means we are a loser. But it’s more visible in job application, competition or pursuing for something - education, love etc. As everybody does, I also have my own losing time. I state some examples that are visible to everyone as I for sure couldn’t reveal everything. I taste a lot of time of losing in competition when I was in school. No wonder I would take a competition seriously but matter of winning is surely not a big matter. As the episode 8 of Season 5 The Apprentice (currently show in America, not yet show in Malaysia) says how one of the team is making ‘losing’ as their habit, I would say that it’s not cool for losing. It’s just a matter of mind whether you want to feel it a good way or bad.

But being a sore loser actually cool sometimes. When I was in school, as I was losing too much, winning once and twice is totally a big memory for me. I still could feel the sweetness winning 2nd place District Poetry Recital competition using poem that I created on my own. I lose the same competition for years as I participate the competition since I was in Form 1. Ha ha.


But as days pass by, I learn there’s a lot more form of losing that I might face. Maybe that’s not much challenge in the school, the form of losing that I face is in the competition, and losing my grandmothers in interval of 6 months.

One thing that I learn about losing is, if I couldn’t have something that I want, it must be because I already been given a lot, but I just took it for granted, and if someone is in the middle to my success, that’s what life is all about. I might fall or I might grab the prize. The obstacle is the middle is what make my life become a blockbuster-movie type of life instead of a fairy tale life. Surely I want to be in Pirate of Carribean than stupid Charlie and The Choc Factory

Kengkadang hidup ni macam permainan survivor. Kita rapat, kita pakat, dan kita singkirkan seseorang. Gembira, gaduh, salah sangka, semuanya ada.

Aku terpanggil untuk menulis fasal ni setelah mendengar cerita dari mak aku. Tak perlulah citer fasal apa. Tapi aku buat kesimpulan yang sikap tertutup menyebabkan suatu konflik berlaku.

Aku bersembang dengan Muzaini (kawan sekampung, UIA) 2-3 hari lepas sampai pukul 3 pagi (tak sangka mak bapak aku sangat sporting, x kisah kitorang bersembang lewat2 camtu - I should feel gratitude for sure) membincangkan konflik antara manusia.

Mungkin disebabkan terlalu banyak menonton citer-citer omputih (teenage story macam One Tree Hill), aku ngan dia sependapat. Kalo ada problem, cakap jer lah. Slalunya bleh diakhiri dengan ‘We’re cool, right?’. Tapi for sure la kebanyakan orang tak bleh adapt dengan cara tu.

Dulu skali ada sorang budak minat kat aku. Aku tolak baik-baik, tapi beberapa bulan lepas tu, dia macam antar mesej yg ingatkan aku cam x puas ati kat dia. Mana ada camtu. Aku x kisah pun. Sama la macam kes aku minat kat sorang budak pompuan ni waktu Form 5 dulu. Dia x minat kat aku. Skang ni, slamber je antar mesej. Xde la nak segan ke apa. ‘I’m cool with it’.

Agaknya macam tu la aku harapkan kat setiap orang di sekeliling aku. Walaupun realitinya bukan macam tu.


Ari tu aku dengar dari sorang kawan kepada kawan aku yang jugak kawan aku cakap, ‘Am tu memang open skit’. Maksudnya ada la orang yg bleh perasan style aku. Aku x cakap cara aku ni betul, tapi aku rasa lebih baik confront (dengan keadaan baik) dari backstabbing.

Memendam rasa pun satu hal gak. Ada orang yang malas nak layan sesuatu isu dan ambil tindakan pelarian. Contohnya kalau ada isu dengan roommate, nak tegur malas, so senyap jer. Bagus la kalo dapat bersabar. Tapi bagi aku kalau kita senyap setelah merasionalkan keadaan dia takpe. Jangan senyap tapi simpan dalam hati. Contoh merasionalkan keadaan. Katakan dia tidur bukak lampu meja, dan kita x puas ati. So, kita rasionalkan dengan fikir yang mungkin dia takut tido gelap dan kita still bleh tido walopun dia buka lampu meja; maka senyap tu takde masalah.

Tapi kalo kita senyap dan terus senyap, takut nanti meletup. Sementara belum meletup baiklah kita berterus terang dengan masalah yang kita ada. Rasanya ada penyelesaian bagi setiap masalah. Paling teruk pun kita pindah bilik. Tapi lebih baik kita pindah kerana dia tahu alasan kita daripada menonong (bahasa Kedah la plak) tak tentu fasal.

Tapi daripada pengalaman aku, kita takleh sesuka hati jer bersifat terbuka dengan semua orang. We should know our target audience. Aku pernah gak bersifat terbuka dengan seseorang but then it turn out to bite me back. Tapi, aku rasa puas hati sebab sekurang-kurangnya dengan bersifat terbuka, aku bleh mengelakkan tindakan yang lebih buruk macam bersyakwasangka  tak tentu fasal.

So, we’re cool, huh?

Teringat lagi waktu kecik2 dulu. Kalau bercakap dengan kawan, biasanya aku akan membahasakan sebagai ‘kami’. Tapi tu dalam lingkungan 6 tahun la. Lepas tu aku dah tak teringat penggunaan kata ganti diri pertama aku sebelum aku berpindah ke Kedah waktu Darjah 6. Sampai sekarang, aku masih lagi tertanya-tanya, dulu aku membahasakan sebagai ‘aku’ ataupun ’saya’. Dan ‘engkau’, ‘ko’, atau ‘hang’? Yang aku ingat, keadaan di Kedah memaksa aku beradaptasi dengan pantas untuk mula bercakap Kedah termasuk menggunakan perkataan ‘aku’ dan ‘hang’.

Dan sepanjang di sekolah menengah mahupun matrix, aku takla rasa ada sebarang persoalan berkaitan penggunaan kata ganti diri memandangkan aku biasanya menggunakan ‘aku’ untuk kawan-kawan, ’saya’ untuk guru atau kawan-kawan yang tidak rapat.

Tapi bila kat USM, aku agak bercelaru sebenarnya. Aku x kisah dah status rapat untuk tentukan penggunaan ‘aku’ atau ’saya’. Tapi biasanya, kalau aku dah start guna ’saya’, aku akan terus gunakan ’saya’ sampai la bila-bila. Ada beberapa kes la yang bleh dihitung bila aku tukar ’saya’ kepada ‘aku’.

Satu dengan Samson. Satu lagi dengan Shila. Tu sebab kengkadang aku terasa lawak bila bersembang dengan bebudak debat. Bila aku sembang dengan Shila aku guna ‘aku’. Tapi alih-alih sembang dengan Kimi atau Abang Tra, aku akan guna ’saya’ balik. Aku tak pasti apa aku cakap bila aku sembang dengan ketiga-tiganya.

Hari tu sembang dengan Shahrill(guna ‘aku’) ngan Nawal(guna ’saya’). Terkekok sekejap sebab tengah confuse nak guna yang mana satu. Last-last aku guna ‘I’ tapi disusuli dengan ayat BI jugak le. Tak pernah aku buang tebiat menggunakan ‘I’ bila cakap BM.

Aku bersembang dengan bebudak Saujana ari tu (Farah1,Farah2,Awin,Najihah) + Tuk Penghulu. Kitorang cakap la fasal panggilan ‘abang’. Diorang cakap yang diorang malas nak panggil sorang budak tu ‘abang’ sebab beza jarak usia 1 tahun jer. Dulu, waktu kat area matrix, hanya sepupu2 aku jer yang panggil aku ‘abang’ memandangkan usia diorang yang memang jauh lebih kecik. Orang lain yang muda setahun dua, aku tak bagi panggil abang sebab rasa cam geli sikit la. Aku anak bongsu la, mana ada adik-adik nak panggil abang. Tapi bila dah masuk U, cam dah tak brapa kisah, memandangkan aku dah rajin gi buat aktiviti kat skolah kak aku, so anak murid dia panggil aku ‘abang’ la memandangkan usia yang agak jauh berbeza.

Dekat USM, aku rasa aku akan panggil seseorang tu ‘abang’ atau ‘kakak’ kalau ketika diperkenalkan (atau memperkenalkan diri), dia atau orang lain membahasakan panggilannya sebagai ‘abang’ atau ‘kakak’. Kalau x diperkenalkan sebagai ‘kakak’ atau ‘abang’, aku akan panggil nama dia jer la. Contohnya macam Imah (debat) dan Nawal.

Aku sangat alert bila orang panggil aku. Mungkin sebab aku dah buat eksperimen menukar nama panggilan beberapa kali (nanti la aku citer fasal ni dalam blog yang akan datang). So, aku selalunya tersedar kalau ada orang yang biasanya panggil ‘Abang Am’ kat aku dan tetiba dia panggil ‘Am’ jer. Sebenarnya tak la kisah sangat pun fasal pangkat ‘abang’ tu memandangkan bukannya ada signifikan sangat pun. Tapi mungkin aku rasa pelik sebab aku sendiri tak berkemampuan untuk menukar panggilan pada orang lain. Once aku dah panggil dia ‘abang’ atau ‘kakak’, aku tak pernah lagi panggil orang tu dengan nama dia jer.

Tapi tu suma tak penting. Setakat panggilan jer. Aku kengkadang tak faham, camner ada orang yang bleh rasa ’seronok’ bila sseorang pompuan tukar dari panggilan ‘encik’ kepada ‘abang’. Eu..

I just read Syikin’s (Math) blog. She wrote about love and all.

As she mentioned that it’s all based on her opinion, so I think I might have some different thought about what she said (or wrote actually).

She wrote

The theory goes like this:
If you have a guy/girl, do not give your body, heart, soul and emotions in total to him/her.

:

:

In other word, when you love someone, don’t give him/her your soul,
body and emotions in total. But spare some in case he/she dump you.

In my point of view, I kinda agree that we shouldn’t love someone (refer to our so-called future soulmate) wholeheartedly AND stupidly. Like love for every single thing he/she does etc. But I guess it must not be easy to NOT to love wholeheartedly. It’s seems that while you’re crazy with someone, you are willing to give anything and everything (that supposely not crossing the line) to your partner. Love exist because of trust.

But then, everyone who is falling in love should realise that anything could happen in future. You might break up, lose interest or find someone new; as love may come and may fade.

I talked with one of my friend (not mentioning his name for privacy purpose). He said how women could nurture their heart to love a man. While man couldn’t. A man will only love a person who he’s in love with. Kinda confusing? I give you an example of myself. Even though I’m very close with one particular girl (let say Shila Debat), but I couldn’t nurture my heart to fall for her because I WAS not in love with her. But some girls could fall for me because I’m close to them (that’s TOTALLY an example) although they never interetested in me at the first place. Well, that’s what my friend said. I agree, neglecting minor case that may arise.

I told one of my friend, a girl, about love. Don’t love a guy because he treat you well. Don’t love a guy because he care about you. But love him for himself. Explanation : Some people misunderstand and questioning their partner for acting differently after getting married. Because he isn’t romantic anymore. I say, that’s because be realistic! You live with someone, so you couldn’t expect he’s doing the same thing he did before getting married. That’s the real him. Doesn’t mean he was pretending but an analogy here : - You stay at your house for 3 months. Your mom wouldn’t care about your favourite food. You goes to oversea and back for a week. Everyday you’ll have your favourite lunch. In both cases, your mom loves you the same. Back to the discussion, that’s it. He might not show you how much he cares but he still love you the same (or may be even more or might be lesser)

Smalam, baru je abih tgk Date Movie. Download dari internet. Version x clear sgt la..

Date Movie ni parody (a composition that imitates somebody’s style in a humorous way) cerita-cerita Meet The Fockers, My Best Friend Wedding, Wedding Planner, Kill Bill sikit, The Hitch etc.


Secara kolektifnya, gabungan tu elok dan sesuai pada keadaan. Tapi agaknya dah jadi kebiasaan cerita parody ni (contohnya Not Another Teen Movie dan Scary Movie 1-3), kesemuanya banyak sangat unsur seks. So, macam …

Fokus pada Date Movie, citer dia biasa. Ada part yang lawak, tapi banyak juga lawak yang ‘bodoh’  menjadikan aku letak citer ni paling tinggi pun average jer.

Lagi satu, korang kena make sure korang dah tengok byk movie yang diparodykan sebab kalo x, kurang sikit rasa nak gelak.

—

Aku tertanya-tanya gak, bila agaknya Malaysia nak buat satu filem parody. Menggabungkan PGL, Gerak Khas The Movie, Sembilu, citer-citer Erra Fazira, Senario XX, mesti best nyer. Banyak bahan-bahan perlian kat situ.

It is a total cliche for people to hear that ‘love is blind’. I don’t really have a lot of experience in this ‘love’ thing. But with my little experience, I’m going to compare between to of it.

Love
It’s surely an undescribable feeling that human own. Blood pumped out and for no reason or simply stupid reason such as - she is cute, or she is caring - a man says that he fall for a girl. That’s it. Might be too oversimple by me but as far as I concern, human being didn’t really choosy when it comes to a person they love compare to having friends.

Friends
This is the major discussion in my blog today. Although we’re not divided into pom-pom girls aka Plastic, nerd and jocks (sorry, too much addicted for One Tree Hill!), there is still gaps between people around us.

We could befriend with everyone but then we pick some few friends to enjoy our days. There’s nothing wrong about it,for sure, but do you realise that somehow we really care about our friends.
As for myself, this is few to-be-a-good-friend guideline that I somehow created invisibly:-
1. You’re not insulting me with trash and f word
2. You are not revealing my so-called secret and ashamed thing
3. You’re not asking me question that bother me
4. We have something in common
5. You’re interested in other topic which I’m not, you don’t talk to me about that topic for hours
6. You do not turn on radio or music when I am sleeping in my own room
7. You do not turn on stupid hip hop, or old rock songs from 60s to 90s when you’re in my room
8. And the list goes on….

My point is not about how choosy I am. And I don’t think I have friends based on the list. I just remind myself that some people who I hardly close with is when they don’t have the criteria above.

That’s why in some point, friendship could be scattered even if simple stupid thing happen - such as late of appointment (punctuality), forgot to ask your friend to go somewhere, borrowing something and do not give it back, or using your things everyday or do not turn off the light when it’s sleeping time.

While conflict involving love - mostly I heard from another people is conflict of jealousy, doesn’t care about heart and all. Find a friend who has a girlfriend or boyfriend. If you do any annoying thing that your friend’s partner always do, your friend would feel annoyed, because love is blind, friendship isn’t.

{Currently kat umah}

Petang tadi famili aku meh amik pc dan beberapa barang. Kena angkut 2 kali sebab banyak sgt. Nanti kena datang lg angkut baju2 dan buku2 lak.

Tadi, first time aku seriously bawak keta atas highway. Dulu waktu matrix, penah la abang aku suruh bawak. Tapi aku bawak x sampai 1km sbb x baper confident. Skang ni mengkonfidenkan diri je. Charade ayah aku tu bjaya la aku tekan sampai 90km/j. Lepas ni, bleh la jalan2 gi umah kak aku plak.

Bleh je tetiba tadi tgh2 bawak, aku menyanyi sendiri2. Tak sedar la plak rupanya bila aku ternervous, aku menyanyi sorang2. Slalunya kalo balik nak moto, mmg la melalak, tp tu cam tindakan dalam kawal la.

Dah dapat lesen 3 tahun, hari ni baru first time drive seriously atas highway  - kira lambat la. So, kengkawan - jom sewa kreta gi Bukit Merah!!!

I went out and watched Ice Age with Maha, Aizim, Hakim, Abang Tra, Fariz and Fuad. It was 11.40 show and the weather was just fine.

I haven’t watch the first film, but they say that you don’t really have to watch the first movie as it’s not LOTR type, so I was pretty excited to watch first animation in cinema.

The story is good. The issue is about surviving the melting ice as it’s gonna flood the land. In search for safe place and to continue the species. Good thing about this movie is because it put all emotion into it. Funny, romance, action, thriller… I never see love among mammoth potrayed this good.

Simply flawless. You won’t hate this movie.

————————————————–

This ain’t about the movie. But after we’ve done watching, I found out that my helmet had been stolen. Two helmets that I put under the motor seat. I was speechless back then. Kinda frustrated because it just hours after Abang Tra gave me DPNC winning money and I just have to spend it for replacing losing helmet.

But what can I say, it just not meant to stay with me longer than that night.