Si Tenggang’s Homecoming

Feel pity for the malay men in Malaysia (including me). If they want to get married, they have to think about their responsibility. Whether they can be a good husband or not. Whether they could
give their future spouse enough food and care. Well, that’s not bad. It’s a test of love, if you see it from a positive perspective.

But there’s another thing these people have to bear in mind. The pre-wedding thing. Thanks to the beautiful malay tradition to have a very wonderful flow of engagement with plates of hantaran, followed by magnificent wedding ceremony with pelamin and big kenduri. That totally makes most of the men remember their wedding as the MOST memorable thing in their life [Didn't I sound sarcastic? If you think I didn't, read again that line and read the following line]. And we’re pleased to hear that man is the one to halfly or fully support all of those event. By what? The thing we call as belanja.

Let me make this straight. Why is belanja so expensive nowadays? 6k or may increase until 10k??? What the… To prevent ambiguity, just wanna define here that belanja is different from mahar aka mas kahwin. Mahar - the woman keeps it. Belanja - The family use it for kenduri. And don’t say I am unhappy with this because I kind of person who is kedekut, which is true, but I see this as something that burdening some men. I heard one case of man who cancel marrying a woman because he couldn’t afford paying the belanja.

Malay society is making lot of men having problems. The mentality itself. Once you wanna get married, people expect you to have a big kenduri. No one these days spend less than RM500 to make a kenduri as you’re expected to at least have a khemah kenduri and 3 course menu. Is that what we really need?

Second, no one give less than RM1000 for mahar + belanja. Some put a high belanja just to show that their daughter is up to a standard. The higher level of education a girl is, the more a man has to pay.

Third, no one is spending less than RM10 to inform to their friends and relatives about the wedding. Although we have internet, Maxis SMS Bundle, Maxis Active5, Celcom rate for 8 people, Digi Friends and Family and whatsoever cheap plan, you won’t get a message from a friend (without traditional walimatulurus card) saying ‘Hi,knduri aku ari Sabtu,10Jun.Jmput dtg ngan famili ke almt brikut:-….’. Never.

Fourth, can it be an engagement without hantaran. If a man send 7 dulang, woman reply with 9. Hey, don’t you realise that sometimes the getting-married woman doesn’t even have chance to taste the cake the men gives for the hantaran. Who eat that? The family. Who’s getting married anyway? And it is funnier when the couple even go out together to choose for the hantaran they wish to give to their future spouse. Well, make sure they pretend to be suprised to see the hantaran they both get from their future spouse.

That’s enough of things which are not necessity. Please bear in mind that if you have money, that might not be a case for you. But if you don’t, these are the reasons for you to postpone your marriage for another few years until you get ready with your budget and all. And make sure you also get ready to get rejected or dumped because she couldn’t wait you much longer.

Again, thanks to our unique culture. Let’s this culture and mentality live forever…. Duh.

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