Si Tenggang’s Homecoming

So, sometimes I wonder, which one is a better way. To share it, or to keep it to yourself? In term of having food to be eaten, or some holiday vacation, or in term of physical things that you can touch and divide it mathematically or the things that don’t wear out after you use it; that’s of course, something good to be shared. Not in term of stolen things and of course not in the case of sharing a woman. Although at some point, yeah, there’s case of sharing a man, although there’s too much of animosity raised up because of that while at some point, there exist the case of peaceness among both sides but it’s just to lame to be brought up in the air until people just hate the idea of women sharing the same men.

Too much talking about that. It’s totally not my main focus for this entry. My point of giving so many examples above is to differentiate from what I’m gonna talk from now on. Should we share the feelings inside or just keep it to ourself?

When the question revolves on the innerside of human, (of course I’m not talking about the organ, tissue or cells) sharing feelings and emotion cannot be judge in general. There are some people who can simply keep everything, from worst to the best, from totally happy to somberly sad; to themselves and still, they are having a very fine life, not being bothered by the problems and paranoia; so this people are good to live with any ways. Sharing is just an option. It will not hurt them if they don’t.

As I say it cannot be judged generally, so let me state that this is simply my case. And when it is my case, it might be different than yours. And if it is similar in any way, it is still my case, so I might not be able to follow your way (Read: I’m a jerk. I don’t want to keep listening to the idea of people which I have my own thought and I think mine is better than yours). So if that is the case, referring to disability of human following other people’s advise and views, why should we share things with people? It might just lead to more argument, and end by tearing up the so-called friendship-forever just because of different point of views.

But to share is to release the tense inside. To share is to develop a relation and trust. Not to mention, to share is to be blackmailed later on when you share something unacceptable after you thought he/she could be trusted. Like playing innocence, and telling your best friend that you have been dating his girlfriend, and you are regretting it. Usually, if that’s the case, he will call you a _____ (fill in the blank with unappropriate words). In a better case, he punch you at your nose.

To share is also to ask for reaction. Sometimes I tell my friend that I feel sad, so that he can cheer me up. Sometimes you tell something to be appreciated. That is why a nerd stays a nerd (referring to bookworm who does not mix with people). Because when you share something with them, they don’t give the reaction you expect. Or maybe I should state that it is not the case of nerd in general, as I was a nerd and it is like insulting my previous me, but I don’t think that’s really insulting as I was not a person who did not show the reaction people wanted, but that is just what I thought and I didn’t know what people really think, so it’s better to play safe and take back what I said about the nerds. If someone just don’t give any reaction, or contradict what you hope, he’s the last person you want to share something, or maybe not in your list any longer. Such as telling your friend that you have just lost RM10, and he says ‘great!’ and giving you such a boring look until you wonder whether he is giving his sympathy or he is saying ‘you’re stupid’ in his heart, and force you to think that he’s sorry for you so that people don’t call you paranoid, which is totally sucks because you are already paranoid by thinking that way.

Okay, I’m sleepy as it is already 2 in the morning. And to share this thoughts, some people might think I’m a little bit insane to write in a way of going in winding road before reaching the end point. But hey, I just in the mood of sharing something. And simply in mathematical imagination, my mood is just in cosinus graph with no end [Math students will say, you should just state it this way from the very beginning:) ]

[Pix from http://www.onetreehillcentral.org/]

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