Si Tenggang’s Homecoming

‘Aper la Am… baru sikit dah nak give up. It’s not too little too late (currently listening to the song by Jojo),’ aku menempelak diri sendiri. Emotional breakdown dua hari lepas mungkin disebabkan aku terlalu banyak berfikir. Aku kan, paranoid skit, so camtu la bila ada masalah. Selalunya I’ve somebody to put my head on his/her shoulder. Takpun banyak bebenda yang distract aku. Debat ker. Jalan2 BJ ker. Bila takde banyak aktiviti, and most of the time I spend either study, eating or watch downloaded tv show, so I had questioned myself, ‘I gave lot enough, but what’s wrong?’ I still remember Awin (x-JPP KMPP, UMS, kat USM skang) told me, on the issue of failed student, the fact that some people fail not because they do not study, it’s just out of their luck (rezeki). It’s not a statement of saying that I ‘want’ to fail or what, but it’s just me to realise that you can’t have everything you wish for.

Jumaat malam ari tu, sekali lagi kitorang iaitu aku, Tahir dan Udy gi makan kat luar. Aku order ayam seekor, 3.50 pound. Masak tandoori. Puas, dan lega la sikit otak aku. Hari ni plak, aku pergi U. Tanya fasal assignment kat Karli (budak Austria). Kebetulan, Imke (budak pompuan German) pun ada kat situ. Belajar Matlab (salah satu program komputer untuk mathematician). Aku tersedar, dalam susah2 aku pun, ader lagi orang yg lagi susah. Sebab dia tak pernah belajar Matlab sebelum ni. ‘Aper la Am… tengok, ader orang lain yang ada banyak lagi masalah.’

Tahir pun cakap macam tu hari tu. Tapi aku bagitau dia, walaupun aku agak terkedepan berbanding dia ngan Udy, tapi aku tak rasa lega memandangkan aku amik Math dulu waktu first degree, manakala dia dan Udy dari line engineering. I guess the spirit of fighting is good, but in this kinda of unstable emotion caused by the surrounding, I shouldn’t put myself too hard.

‘Aper la Am…,’ aku mengeluh sekali lagi.

[Songs I'm really into right now: Jesse McCartney - Right Here Where You Want Me, and, Carrie Underwood - Before He Cheats]
[Gambar - on the way nak gi bilik Karli. Daun gugur, musim sejuk dah nak mula]

Comments RSS