Si Tenggang’s Homecoming

I just received 3 bunch of assignment and tests result. And pathetically, I did bad in all of those 3. Bad in term of comparing myself to the Austrian. Average, if I compare to the others. Maybe because I was aiming so high, that made me feel so bad about it. But this blog is not about it. Besides, I rephrase how much I hate people giving me motivational words. Thanks for being silent.

I wonder myself out. Is it just happening here or what? I thought, I was having such difficulties in my undergraduate years, but I never feel the constant stress keep visiting me. I walked into the lecture, and felt bad, went out and felt bad until I met one guy I knew him from the Vocal Essence Concert. He told me that there is going to be a photograph session for the performer tomorrow. On the same time, one of the Malaysian undergrad student who can barely speak Malay greeted me as he passing by.

I told the performer guy that I will be there. And suddenly, all of my tense run away. I feel like normal again, and feeling like smiling. I rode my bicycle, and I see a tree with flowers, or pink colour leaves, I’m not sure which one it is. And my mind feel so much ease on that time.

As people say, ‘you never miss until it is gone’, I realized how much I am not only missing, but also depend on tiny weeny things in my life. Like laughing with friends, or eating something nice. These are the things that turn out my bad emotion to a positive one.

I still remember, every time I came back from debate tournament, I will always go to Najhan or Maharuddin’s room just to avoid myself from being lonely (usually I felt that way because in debate tournament, I spent all of the time with people, so abruptly changing the atmosphere made me a little bit solitary).

My conclusion for all of the stress I felt is simple. There’s no positive force to neutralise it. So, what can I do? I dunno. Maybe instead of scheduling my study, now I need to schedule my time to socialize with people. Need to find something to made up my day.

[Gambar sekadar hiasan. Seimon, Tahir dan Udy cakap aku dah semakin gemuk. Who cares, I love to be fat. Besides that, notice anything else different?]

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