Aug 25 2007
3 weeks left, and a pray
3 minggu lagi sebelum balik Malaysia. 11 hari lagi sebelum hantar disertasi. How is my life recently? Aaar, unexpectedly good. Dissertation - goes well. Social life - not so social, just like before, but I’ve been having such a great time. Everything landed very well. Aku mula menghantar email 3-4 minggu lepas untuk mencari supervisor seterusnya. Dan sorang lecturer di Cardiff ini sangat membantu. Aku balas 2-3 ayat, bagitau yang aku tak apply lagi disebabkan tak tahu nak buat proposal, dia balas 6-7 perenggan siap dengan sumber rujukan.
Honestly, I’m a lil bit freak out. Having a good life is nice, but having one good thing after another is just making me wonder, ‘err…. am I deserved for this thing?’ Just some worries. I guess I deserve to ask myself such question. I start to plan another game in my sister school. This time I want to emphasize on the academic part. I mean, I really wanna try to give it back to the society. That is the least I can do.
Honestly, don’t you ever think whether you deserve all of this happiness? As a Muslim, we have to feel gratitude. But I wonder, is it enough.
Honestly, even all of this stuff (me coming to UK) seems bigger than I thought. I didn’t think it as a big stuff. I think it as some phase I have to go thru just like going to USM and stuff (and stuff = etc). Just like recently when all of those chaotic life was over, I started to realize how big this opportunity is.
I just pray, for whatever I got, I will be able to use it in a good way, help other people and and at least make a place or make a person having a better life.
As this world is so drifting towards the wrong side, I really need some strength…
