Si Tenggang’s Homecoming

Prelude:

Previously on the topic
In Part 1 (Feb 07), it is the introduction of why I talk about this topic in English and how it all begun.
In Part 2 (Feb 07), it is about the search of so-called true love.
And in Part 3 (Mac 07), the discussion get a lil bit more complicated with reading between the lines.
And for this post - it’s all about inferiority complex!

And the content:

I was having some conversation with a friend (no name revealed for privacy). He goes telling some conflict, and when he wanted to describe about his gf, I interrupted ’she felt inferior?’. ‘Yup’. Ah ha, not so different after all.

It is quite a cliché issue. Due to some differences, usually in education level, some couple - married or not - are having problems when one of them feel inferior due to that. It is quite a regional issue as we can rarely see it in US TV Series such as in Desperate Housewives or Ugly Betty. But this is quite a big issue among the people feeling that way.

They go around their partner’s back, telling their friend how bad they feel for not having the same level achievement. Or they tell their partner how they feel undeserving for having their partner as their mate.

It goes in early stage of relationship, or it may become something that hinders the relationship. Some woman just afraid to further to postgraduate level, thinking that they will reduce the chance to find a potential husband, as some men do not want to have a wife who seems better than him. It is called as ‘ego-preservation’.

So?

The hardest thing is probably to convince the society, or your partner, that there should be nothing to worried about when one is having a higher level of education than another. Or female is having a higher salary than the male partner.

It is not easy to tell the one who feels inferior that he/she shouldn’t feel that way. But let’s just learn other people by looking at ourselves.

We are always someone who are good in a certain thing, and bad in the others.

He may be someone who can talk with confidence, lead the others, but he is the one who is very sensitive and paranoid.

She might be someone who are good in her study, but she is also someone who is not funny.

He may be some good looking stud, but he is so annoying no one can stands him.

She may be fat, but she is big in heart.

That is some surface point. Deep inside, some people who are good in what they do - studies, sports, debates etc, are the people we may feel inferior to be with. But they may just facing something bad that they have never considered themselves as lucky to be themselves.

Moral of the story: Don’t hassle your partner by feeling inferior when they never point out about that.

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