Dec 25 2007

With difficulty…

Published by flexin-am at 11:31 am under After A Year

Pening, pening. The pressure is really on. I am really in unstable state of mind. No Ali, you don’t have to worry. As far as I’m concern, I am still capable of keeping it cool. And yes, writing blog is one of the way to release the tense. Just so you know.
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I love to blame it to the society. Getting pressure from people around me asking about too many stuff whether it is related to my current issue - handling the PhD application process, or some totally unrelated topic such as marriage and stuff - I thought 23 is a young age to get married in our society, so why bother asking?
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But as I told Mirza (x-SMKM, x-KSAH), I know that I just feeling like blaming on people around me coz I can’t handle blaming my own self only. See Ali, this is my self-therapy - I know the problem, and I try to handle it - probably in a slightly weird way.

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The headache is just biting my neck.

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The story is pretty much simple. It has solutions but probably I feel this way because of time constrain. So, I probably won’t be able to go to UK. But there is a slight chance if I try to appeal. But at the same time, I still have to seek for opportunities in other places which means university and supervisor hunting. I sent to some lecturers and some replied and now it back to the point where I need to prepare a proposal which is gonna be different with the one I am supposed to do in UK. Oh, that’s not it. As I feel like trying for US as well, so I have to sit for GRE and TOEFLS. And yeah, I have to try submitting a paper to a local math conference which I have to make some corrections. And the tutorial start next week, and I need to get back to USM, squatting in friends room as I will get my own place on January 1st.

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Inhale.. exhale…

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Okay Ali, at this point, I feel much better, because I bring it all out open.

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I told her, ‘can I ask you to do me a favor… don’t give me any motivation or any sort of advice [while I tell her about my problems]‘. And I am amazed and surprised of how she is capable of doing that, as I think that my request really show her of how egoistic jerk I am.

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I know I should spend this time typing my appeal letter but I choose to just refresh my mind and keep it cool. I remember dad, couple of times reminded me of the highlighted verse below.

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With_difficulty

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Well.. if He promised it, who am I to doubt it..

[Screen captured: http://www.al-quran.org.uk/]




8 Responses to “With difficulty…”

  1.   # Machinaon 25 Dec 2007 at 12:20 pm

    wah, ada watak misteri ‘her’ la plak..

  2.   # muzemon 25 Dec 2007 at 8:21 pm

    “Every hardship there is ease, Verily with every hardship there is ease” (Ash-Sharh: Verse 5-6)

    Chill-out, mate!.

  3.   # Razalion 25 Dec 2007 at 8:57 pm

    Iye le…aku tetibe perasan ade “her”…..
    Pasal ayat Quran tu tak berani nak tafsir suke2…. Pasal laen2 aku buleh kasi comment yang mengarut2 kuikuikui…
    Sekali lagi hang quite concern about ur study… Then aku terpikir… Maybe… another problems…. Second choice…maybe anxiety disorder…

    Tak pown… yang lebih rendah skit… tension type headache… Mkan je panadaol… Jgn overdosage…
    Apasal hang mention nama aku dalam blog nih… Ni mesti ditujukan khas untuk aku… Ada banyak Ali….

  4.   # Razalion 25 Dec 2007 at 9:07 pm

    Satu lagi Lutfi… bahaya gak hang cakap hang ok je… Coz nak tengok insight… Biasanye ade satu set soalan yang akan ditanya pada patient…Last sekali yang akan ditanya…Pak cik tau tak yang pakcik sakit? When patient say no…then, it is quite worried us coz patient will refuse to get treatment…

    Pasal ayat tu aku tak paham pon yang BI…tapi aku tengok dalam tafsir… mcm tafsiran tu kearah pertolongan Allah pada Nabi setelah susah2 buat dakwah….. tataw la….

  5.   # Awinon 26 Dec 2007 at 1:50 am

    mcm mana ley pilih ayat yg sama nih..

    ayat ni banyak memujuk aku, n bagi semangat dan kekuatan. harap2, it does the same thing to u…
    =)

  6.   # Mohd Farizon 26 Dec 2007 at 7:10 am

    Somehow ‘her’ muncul out of the blue..probably ang tgh pikir pasai someone ketika menaip, and suddenly ang dah pun include sentence yg ang tgh imagine berckp ngan dia masuk ke dlm blog..eh, betui ke?? Ni assumptions je..hehehe~

  7.   # Machinaon 26 Dec 2007 at 9:20 am

    Additional with some psychological effect within men’s behavior domain.

    Men love to fix, but not to be fixed.(John Gray)

    Unwanted solution & explanation would rather made men feels broken which contradicts with his natural egoistic that’s always quote “I’m ok, don’t fix me”.

  8.   # zakiyyaon 30 Dec 2007 at 8:04 pm

    patutla beriya betulkan ayat za hari tu… yup, selepas kesusahan pasti ada kesenangan..

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